I’m locked inside my own wall..

Being here 2 month, I know myself far better than I was before. There’re lot of challenge that I’ve to surpass. Stumbling so many times, dispirited by how bore I am, stultifying by those ‘super-social’ people surrounding me, I’m trying to tell myself that it’s not my fault but my weakness. The logical part of my trained mind tells me different story, “it’s not your own damn fault. This occur to everybody. You’d be fine times after times”But.. part of me, I don’t know whether that’s because my nature, my personality or my inherent thought, that make me feel like.. when I can’t get along with some one because I’m not fluent (in speaking) enough…then it’s my own damn fault. Conflict occur. Yes, I should be blamed. No, it’s not your fault. Admit it, it’s your fault !. !@#$

So I can be stronger or I couldn’t be at all. This discrepancy grows far beyond any of you can thought. Sometimes, I want it to end right away by any means necessary. Sometimes, I try to be better and sometimes, I do nothing at all.

The truth is still the truth. As time goes by, this feeling…this disparity grows and grows day by day, dawn to dusk.. What shall I do?  of all the thing I pursue, is this the result I should get? it’s so dark inside me… even I know that world isn’t that black. But the wall, the darkness I create, it dissipates not only inside my body but around me making my world seems lifeless than it should be.

Now I’ve created the wall shielding myself from everything…my own damn wall…

PS. For anyone who drop by, this isn’t suicide note but my inspiration to come up with song about my own imaginary stuff. However, I really feel it this way but not stronger and dramatic as these ink and paper( uh..let’s re-iterate it, pixel and uh.. computer screen) convey. So this is not suicide note, seriously.

W’all in our own time machine

Huh…18 Jul.. Whattttttttttttttttttt !!! 18 JULYYYYYYY.

Last time I’m aware of where am I in these two calendar month of my internship here in india, is…well… June 25, when my last blog post was published. Over 2 and a bit weeks has been pasted by very quickly and hastily and it’s like I’m lost into the other world. Why I’m saying this? because most people will be aware of time unless they have something concrete, meaningful and purposeful to do . Imagine looking at the clock, waiting for somebody pointlessly with nothing to do, it seems like those 20 mins ( or 10 or 30 or whatsoever) is the longest period in your life (again and again).

Let’s put it in the other way, it means that I was so busy that I couldn’t even spare part of my time writing something on my own blog until NOW, what a pathetic person I am. But wait, how busy? you called playing facebook game, chatting with friend and reading lot of junky book BUSY. Yes, I am but I called those thing differently.

CYCLE, should w’all overlook at, is different, and more important, is subjectively to each individual. My cycle is different than yours. yours might be ‘wakeup -> go to work –> lunch –> back to work –> tea break –>’ and I might have different set of activities and order. but as long as we’re all in this meaningful cycle, it’s like we’re abducted by this cycle to our-own-create-world that we set forth.

We’re too much obsessed with this cycle only to, just like me, realize that time’s been pasted so fast. And when we look back and what we’ve done, sometimes we feel like ” What I’ve done and what I’m doing right now and why should I continue doing this?”. And before, we find the answer, we are snatched by those cycles bringing us back to that super horrible awful thing I’ve ever known of again and again and again and again.

From the first aforementioned paragraph, I said that it’s like I’m abducted into the another world. W’all ARE abducted to the other world. Well, turns out that it’s not really another world actually. In fact, it is…

OUR OWN TIME MACHINE

and I want to leave this question to myself and all surfer who pass by my blog.

How do you DESIGN your own time machine?

Working at InfoSys : The great liberation

30 min… looking at the clock minute by minute. Imagining what to do in the weekend. Every breath in and out both is counted toward the end of this torment. When it’s going to be over…. oh now down to 29 min … 28..27..25..20..10…3…2…1….I’m freeee wheewwwwwwww

I’m not too melo-dramatic but this curse ,like what lot of people said, is actually existed. It’s a great liberation of almost all working homo sapiens in the office realm to be free from their torment.

After almost 1 month of working with the most innovative and one of the largest IT companies in India, That moment of the great liberation, for me..has to be redefined. Craving for developing web app? we got a work for you.. Craving for web services? … why don’t you come over the meeting and tell us what you know. After all, it’s feel like working for this organization, you can eventually become better in what you do not what they want you to do.

I remember one of the great video from a blog recommended by my PM. According to that, it said ” When work requires intelligence, cognitive thinking and lot of brain power, people don’t do it just for the money, they do it because they want to be better in what they do” – and yes, InfoSys let you become better in what you do regardless of what kind of expertise you have. If you’re in the IT industry. This company has a work for you and you can be sure that it’s a good one which will nourish you with the challenging work.

Speaking of work, today my PM told me that the 3-phase that I’ve planned with my project mentor will not be implemented only by me as what I thought. In fact, she’s already assigned two of the phases to the other employee in the very first meeting at whom I questioned – “who the hell is he/she, why we need them every time we had ‘my project meeting’” Turns out that my project isn’t  ’my project’ but ‘our project’. Once, I finished my work, and so the others, I will collaborate with them to integrate this 3 module together into one single extension which will be added to InfoSys main product which is used by its customers from various industries.

Knowing that my work will add significant value to the organization, my enthusiasm is, again, being pushed to the next level. You know, when you know that you can do something that leaves something meaningful to something that you care and love ( IT?), that ignites you tremendously.

Moreover, here’s, there’s no strict control. lunch at anytime, break at anytime, start and finish at anytime you want.. yes, I’m no kidding. And I feel like I’m not tied to the control made for un-wittedness labor but somehow this freedom, I can feel that it makes people including me more efficient.

Therefore, the endless time that tortures many people at work, will be meaningless at this kind of company( The only thing that makes me want to flee from india is… their food ). Find the company that let you be better at what you love, do nurture you not torture you and ensures that your work will have its place, and you will experience a truly great liberation as I once grasped the opportunity to work here at Infosys.

P.S. the video I mentioned is posted here below,

[GWT] Remove App Engine when you don’t use it

It’s a typical pitfall that one can fall into when he/she is new to GWT like me.

App Engine allows you to compile your GWT stuff, package it and deploy to the renowned google’s app engine server so that you can deploy your hot application to the World Wide Web right away after you’re done with your code.

However, lot of server-side library and java specification aren’t supported by the app engine. For example, Hibernate, Spring…. sorry guy google doesn’t allow the most popular API in their server. Moreover, telling GWT to include App Engine API and compile the code using it on runtime significantly slow down the compile process a lot ( 30 seconds compare to…2 secs).

And what’s being worse; It’s that if you don’t use App Engine but start your project with a typical-noobie-like-me do. The standard configuration of the project automatically assumes that you’re using the App Engine. And, the library in your project will be checked for the compatibility at compile time. That means if you plan to integrate Spring, Hibernate and lot of other stuffs, You will face the punishment from the google god, “A red error commandment message” and your beloved line of codey will eventually fail.

How to getaway? project configuration -> Google -> Google App Engine -> tick the box ” use App engine” off and Hula !!!

Credit : GWT developer blog by one of the commenter which use the anonymous login to suggest this.

[CSS] one plus one doesn’t equal two

Well, when it’s outside the basic arithmetic we learnt from our first-grade, it’s not the case for most of the internet browser to date. Taken from css : the missing manual, I discover that the superstitious mind of the web designer is always misled by our inherent arithmetic inside our brain.

Ready for brain-teaser css? Well, when margin of one element ( any : a, div, img, …) touch the margin of other. Let’s say the bottom-margin : 3px of div tag touches the top-margin : 2px of the following p (paragraph) tag, the result distance between those two doesn’t equal 5. what happen? Well, the web browser applies the larger of both margin = 3px.

Work around this ‘not-really-problem’ is, if you want the content of both element to be 3+2=5px apart, use padding instead of margin.

That’s the end of the lesson today, let’s get to the personal thing.

Sitting here, contemplating about life in the future for a while, I start reading geeky thing again and again. Yesterday, I watched ‘UP’, great animation though. This epic animation arouse my feeing and inherent thought that’s been strolled back and forth around my mind for a year. Well, I have dream in which, sometimes in the future, I ‘think’ that I’ll definitely make it come true though. But time changes people, I might never have a chance to see my dream come true at all. We’re living and striving in hard world. The moment you wake up, you might get lot of wrinkle on your face, your hands are stiff, your leg will not function properly…. you’re too old to catch your dream…how pathetic it is.. imagine that.  ’What’s the meaning of life?’ – to work in office, live your life pointlessly and then die realized that your dream is just a dream?

That’s just a thought.

Work at InfoSys : First day at work (really) [part 2.1]

Full with dinner, now I’m listening to ‘Dream Theater : A change of season’, one of my favorite album of the band. Wondering why I chose to do this ‘computer’ stuff. There’s no way to rationalize why I chose computer rather than music other than I’m striving for happiness in my life and music can’t fulfill that in the end.

Flashing back to last wednesday, after one-day long orientation on tuesday, the real work started on Wednesday.

Welcomed by my project mentor at 9.30 am (hmmm…in the letter it said 9.00 so I came at 8.30…shouldn’t have come so early), she showed where I should be in the next 2 month. There’s a man sitting beside me and he is my partner. InfoSys has 3 level of helping intern established in their working environment. And that are

1. Student mentor : Supposed to answer any questions regarding everything except the project.
2. Project mentor : as the name suggests…
3. Partner : InfoSys employee who will be with me along the internship. I can direct any questions regard how to do these and those or questions about the company to him.

At 10.30 we supposed to have a meeting with one of the employee who works in our project. She didn’t tell me anything about this employee. Turned out that the meeting room in our building were all occupied, so we moved to the other building only to use the meeting room.

So we then were at building 32 where Dwayne, the Indian American guy who grown up in British for several years before brought to U.S., was working. This guy, even I’m a man, I can tell  you, he can be a hollywood star… bold, noble british look and warmth voice… I wish I could reborn…LOL

Entering the meeting room, Sukriti, my mentor, she opened her computer,  plugging it with the LAN cord. I wondered why we need computer only just to do this easy project briefing.

The question was answered eventually when she initiated the video conference meeting with the other employee from Hyperabad campus. “This is how global company does the work” Sukriti said. The next-30 minute was exciting. The project is really challenging and, if succeed, it will deliver a very useful, meaningful and magical product ( Jobs’ word LOL). I can’t say more about what I’m going to do due to the confidentiality agreement, Sorry guys but roughly, It’s about, BI, BAM, PM, Data mining, Web Service, RIA combining together.

It’s 12.24 AM now. My eyes are strained, My hands and fingers are stiffed, My brain’s function’s starting to fail. Can’t tolerate… Going to watch ‘Chloe’, a second-rate movie but interesting one, before going to sleep. Will try to finish this part by tomorrow. Have a good night, guys.

Work at InfoSys [part 1]

Exciting….Frustrating….thrilling….., I got up earlier than I usually do.

Yes, today’s an orientation day or the injection process as they called it. As far as I knew we are going to be gone through some kind of filling documents, session about india, working environment, information security policy within the organization, anti-sexual harassment session ( frankly, my favorite ;D), opening bank account, opening the mobile account and taking a tour of the campus led our student mentor.

Spending a little more time taking shower, choosing what to wear, selecting tie, I finally set up and ready to go. Today’s destination is going to be the corporate building 1. Found 3 interns downstair, I walked with them to the building. We were pointed to go to the corporate meeting room inside the building. Just when I was inside,

“Holy….Crap” I exclaimed. This is exactly what the perfect presentation room should be. With every seats positioned as semi-circle shape facing toward the speakers. The row is about 1 feet below the previous row. The just right light ambience. But what is the most astonishing things is the very huge screen right infront of me, its size is about the size of the screen in the large theater.

There’re about 30 interns ( I met only 6-7 yesterday )who was there when the first speaker started speaking. They’re all looked so professional. at the break, we had a chance to speak and learn more about each other. Most of them are from outside the U.S. but studying there at the top-university in U.S. It’s such an honor knowing that I’m a part of the program brought the best-of-breed talent around the world to the most stellar working environment that I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Again, My poor English obstructed me from breaking the ice between me and the other guys. However, at least I got intimated with guy from Hongkong, Taiwan and Britain.

If Bangalore Campus is not big enough, I heard from some of the guys here that at myo…<can’t remember> campus, it’s 4 times bigger than this and they, the InfoSys, also got more than 20 campuses which was built using our Bangalore campus as a model. Now, I felt the power of this…. huge company.

Going through all the things in the agenda from 9 to 6 in the evening, I was exhausted. Finding something to eat at the food court with friend, we got into trouble. The trouble is, on the menu, they have a list of food like ” adfijo , lasdkjf, fjiofwa , asdfjkl <imagined it was indian name, people> “.  How do I suppose to know what it is ? So…so we randomly selected some of them. The first random item I had was… hmm… not bad. However, the second item I got ( “adfjkl with ice cream” Ah ha!, ICE CREAM, it must be delicious ) is …. not as good as ‘part’ of its name suggested. The taste was …. “untastable”.

Still not full, I bought the bakery randomly also at the food corner just to find out when I got home that it’s a curry and spice favor. Everything’s good except the food LOL. Moreover, the air condition now is not working…more disappointed. Planning to call the hostel’s engineering service.

Got to go.

Bangalore [part 3 : 31 May 10]

The phone in the room suddenly rang at 11.30 AM.

“Hellooo….” not certainly knew who’s calling
“Hi, am I speaking with Mr. Napat? this is Inchara, your student mentor”

Relieved by certainly knowing who’s calling, I intend to carefully listen to what she said. Informal intern meeting? hm… sounds cool. I’ll be there at building… 8 at noon. Not sure where the building 8 is, I went out.

Back in the morning, the fact that I’ve endured eating Indian food for 3 days  doesn’t stop me from deciding to eat it again today. One reason is because it’s cheap. However, when I was at the restaurant at 11 am, I then realize that I can’t continue my practice.

“It’s closed sir. Our morning meal service closed at 10 pm sir” Indian worker here is very polite. They always end with “sir”.  Well then, I guess it’s time for the instant noodle that I brought from Thailand. YUMMY !!!, it tasted so good as never before. After finishing the breakfast, I surfed the web, reading book as usually always do. Then the phone rang.

At noon, I went out to see my new friends here. Looked better than I thought, 8-10 people was sitting at the table eating their lunch, not noticed that I was standing right infront of their faces. Reluctantly not sure that they are the intern student or just international employees here, I walked around trying to stand out of the crowd hoping to get my student mentor attention. Finally, she came and introduce me to all nice guys who ignored presence at first.

” Julian, Julia, Ho, Carlos, …. , huh what’s your name, again?” always my problem. Never remembered one’s name for more than 5 mins after initially asking them, I don’t know whether I irritated them by keep asking their name every 5-10 mins or not. However, there’s a guy whom I can remember his name because he is pretty much like me, eyeglass, thin, nerdy look. His name is Ho from Hongkong. Hongkong and Ho..huh easy to remember isn’t it?

Although most of the interns are from many countries around the world ( Malaysia, Hongkong, Taiwan, Germany, India, America, Britain, France, Bulgaria and … etc. ), most of them studied at the States from top universities there ( Purdue, Berkley, Michigan, California something, …). It made me astound by the varieties of this group of people.

Chatting for a while, I went home. On the way, I stopped by at the mini-mart and Subway sandwich venue to buy new shampoo and my dinner. I took pictures of the InfoSys campus and here they are…

Added : The laundry service here works very fast. I dropped off my cloth in the morning at 10. It finished on time at 5 in the afternoon as they, the laundry employees, told me.

Bangalore [part 2]

Already have breakfast in the morning for Rs. 110 ( 70 THB, 2 USD approximately), I’m sitting here in the room watching the housekeeper cleaning my room.

Housekeeper !? YES, they have housekeeper cleaning the room everyday at 10.00 AM. And they also have the laundry service ( 7 THB / piece for both washing and ironing ). It’s like living in the hotel except that the housekeeper they’re all indian and I don’t know whether I can trust them. Should put all the precious thing in the locker as per instruction.

Continued from yesterday, on the afternoon I had lunch with Ms. Sukriti Goel who is my project mentor. We met at the restaurant at my hostel called ‘La Terrace’. She asked me to reserve the desk before it’s getting too crowded at noon which is ordinary for the working day here. Shaking in fear, ” how can I reserve the desk? where to go? “, I successfully manage to get  the reservation ticket for 2 people at La Terrace. And here she came on time at 12.30. Ms. Sukriti is a middle-age woman with a look that make everyone know that “she’s the boss here”. I thought that she must have a high-rank position here in InfoSys.

We talked with each other about many thing from food, the company, my university (Carnegie Mellon ) and finally the project!.  I learnt from her that the project I’ll do with InfoStep ( the internship program that I’m in)  is specially designed for the intern student and has nothing to do with the InfoSys core business. I guess that they use this InfoStep Program to recruit new talent from the biggest university all around the world ( I heard the word ” Harvard and MIT also joining the program” ).

After lunch, she took me for a brief tour inside the campus. Filling with ‘not enough’ food in my stomach, I tried to find food venue around on my own but fail to do so due to the huge crowd in the afternoon. Disappointed, I went back to my hostel letting my stomach craving for food. At night, I can’t stand the starvation inside anymore so I decide to go to the food court to find something to eat. Unfortunately, the food court I went they sell only the Indian food. Reluctant but starved, I randomly ordered one of the Indian food and a banana milkshake which sold at an unbelievable low price (14 RS or 7 THB for each). Hmmm.. Not bad, I think but not enough. Not enough, trying to buy more. Unluckily, they’re closed. So I went home.

Don’t know whether it’s because of my body’s not familiar with the food or I was tired of the day, I slept immediately as soon as I reach the bed.

Staring is part of the Indian culture, I think. Every place I went, there’re always be Indians staring at me. Even I didn’t see that by myself directly but I can feel it. If I were in the other country, I’d feel that I’m offended but here, in India, it’s just their curiosity ( as mentioned in my student handbook).

Today and tomorrow I’ll stay here in the hostel trying to study on the project, JAVA programming and other few things as much as possible. Til I see all you guys again… have a good day.

The New Journey begins : Bangalore Part 1 [28 May 10]

After 3 months of writing nothing, I’m back again with the new theme, thought and story.

What did I do on the last few months? Well, mostly trying to get A on every courses ( It’s getting tougher and tougher this semester) ,
finding internship and partying with Thai bands.

Now? chilling in the 4-star-hotel-like InfoSys hostel in its magnificent campus located at the suburb of the well-know Bangalore city updating my forsaken blog.

Arrived at the Bengaluru ( the corrected pronunciation of Bangalore as told by the cab driver ) at 11.00 pm yesterday, I rush through the crowd trying to get out of
this airport as fast as possible as I feel like I can fall asleep at any minute that coming. After all the procedures ( and a few cute thai girls though), I finally manage to meet
the cab driver from the company. He is very kind, taking care of everything I carry. We talked with each other along the 2-hour ride to the campus ( Geezzzz, It’s taken
too long than I thought, the cab driver said the campus is 55 km far away from the airport). The city looks … worse than I thought making me so thrilled ( what it’d be like at the company).
The smell, cleanliness and aesthetic is somewhat… awful. This gonna be 2 month of being in .. well .. I can’t say that.

However, my thought turns up-side down when I arrive at the company. The cab driver pointed out the area of the InfoSys campus from distant ( the cab can’t get inside the campus ). First of all, the
area is vast. And when getting deeper inside… the word ” gorgeous ” comes to my mind. I haven’t seen any company with a vast, magnificent and inspring like this before.

I was led to my room at what they call “The Employee Care Center(ECC)”. Not scary as it sounds, the room and the amenities they offer are equivalent to the premium 3 to 4-star hotel internationally. Unfortunately, I’m not sure whether the policy here prohibit me from ‘intentionally’ taking the picture inside the campus. However, You can see the ‘unintentional’ pictures ( means I don’t know who take these pictures ;>) below.